This post carries a trigger warning for domestic abuse, sexual assault and rape.
The allegations of Jimmy Savile’s serial sexual abuse of young girls have been met with universal outrage. It has helped many more women to speak up about their own horrific stories. Rape and sexual harassment happens to women daily across the country, the majority of whom never speak up.
I was raped by a friend from university earlier this year. He never apologised and I suffered abuse from his friends worse than the incident itself. They routinely mimicked my screams under the guise of ‘lad banter’. The boys have never acknowledged that the event was rape, believing that ‘if a man is with a woman it is his biological urge to have sex’. I was isolated and felt like a ‘drama queen’ for being affected and upset about the situation. I blamed myself for over-reacting, not my rapist. This is a common symptom of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I discussed the incident with a female friend whose reactions exposed serious flaws in our society and exposd attitudes which must be changed. She commented very blankly that every woman she knew had suffered from rape or, at the very least, sexual harassment. She told me about a relationship in which she was routinely beaten, as well as date raped. She told me of abandonment by her female friends and ‘slut shaming’ amongst her social group. She too felt isolated and blamed herself. None of the men have shown remorse.
I have asked male friends about their perceptions towards sex. Responses have been concerning. Alongside the belief that sex is a ‘biological urge’, men do not understand what constitutes consent. One blamed years of watching pornography for his attitudes towards women. Indeed, the pornographic standard of anal sex convinced teenage girls at my school that it was the expected norm. Of course, it isn’t just pornography that confuses young people. Magazines like Cosmopolitan also have their fair share of peculiar sex tips. With an education based entirely upon pornography and magazine articles, young people have a bizarre perception of sex.
People will always have access to pornography and Liberal Democrats must not attempt to ban its distribution. Porn can be empowering and healthy when it isn’t degrading. Young people are always looking for sex advice and often get false information from the internet. We can attempt to change men’s attitudes towards women through curriculum reform in Personal, Health and Social Education. The current teachings of contraception must be expanded to include gender and sex equality. I am not calling for instructional sex classes but it is important to educate children about what is acceptable conduct in a sexual relationship, and what constitutes abuse.
Unfortunately there is a long way to go to even have these proposals considered. British society is still prudish about talking about sex and equality. We are still struggling to allow people who love each other to get married. Equal marriage still warrants 900 protestors to rally together against love. Trying to reform sex education will take some time. I just hope that until then more women can speak openly about abuse, instead of suffering alone in silence.
* Anne Smith is a pseudonym. The author's name has been changed to protect her identity.
The allegations of Jimmy Savile’s serial sexual abuse of young girls have been met with universal outrage. It has helped many more women to speak up about their own horrific stories. Rape and sexual harassment happens to women daily across the country, the majority of whom never speak up.
I was raped by a friend from university earlier this year. He never apologised and I suffered abuse from his friends worse than the incident itself. They routinely mimicked my screams under the guise of ‘lad banter’. The boys have never acknowledged that the event was rape, believing that ‘if a man is with a woman it is his biological urge to have sex’. I was isolated and felt like a ‘drama queen’ for being affected and upset about the situation. I blamed myself for over-reacting, not my rapist. This is a common symptom of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I discussed the incident with a female friend whose reactions exposed serious flaws in our society and exposd attitudes which must be changed. She commented very blankly that every woman she knew had suffered from rape or, at the very least, sexual harassment. She told me about a relationship in which she was routinely beaten, as well as date raped. She told me of abandonment by her female friends and ‘slut shaming’ amongst her social group. She too felt isolated and blamed herself. None of the men have shown remorse.
I have asked male friends about their perceptions towards sex. Responses have been concerning. Alongside the belief that sex is a ‘biological urge’, men do not understand what constitutes consent. One blamed years of watching pornography for his attitudes towards women. Indeed, the pornographic standard of anal sex convinced teenage girls at my school that it was the expected norm. Of course, it isn’t just pornography that confuses young people. Magazines like Cosmopolitan also have their fair share of peculiar sex tips. With an education based entirely upon pornography and magazine articles, young people have a bizarre perception of sex.
People will always have access to pornography and Liberal Democrats must not attempt to ban its distribution. Porn can be empowering and healthy when it isn’t degrading. Young people are always looking for sex advice and often get false information from the internet. We can attempt to change men’s attitudes towards women through curriculum reform in Personal, Health and Social Education. The current teachings of contraception must be expanded to include gender and sex equality. I am not calling for instructional sex classes but it is important to educate children about what is acceptable conduct in a sexual relationship, and what constitutes abuse.
Unfortunately there is a long way to go to even have these proposals considered. British society is still prudish about talking about sex and equality. We are still struggling to allow people who love each other to get married. Equal marriage still warrants 900 protestors to rally together against love. Trying to reform sex education will take some time. I just hope that until then more women can speak openly about abuse, instead of suffering alone in silence.
* Anne Smith is a pseudonym. The author's name has been changed to protect her identity.
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