Sex education: Where to get it and why you need it.

Sex education. Is it something that happens at school never to be mentioned again? Well, think again. We’re certain the mechanics of sexual education you received at school won’t deliver the magical sex life longed for and imagined after viewing countless Hollywood sex scenes. No, real sex education is a continual journey of learning and discovery and the benefits can transform the average sex life to one that leaves you breathless, sweaty and eager to do it all over again.

Back in 2010 we interviewed Sam Roddick, daughter of activist and Body Shop founder Anita Roddick, and proprietor of boutique sex store Coco de Mer. During our chat she discussed her reasons for founding the store and the philosophy behind the sex salons. It all stemmed from people’s sex education, or more to the point, the lack of it. My interview quickly turned into her interrogating me on my own sex education. What was available to us? Was it any good? And Sam wasn’t just referring to learning about safe sex – she was interested in sex education for couples, men and women discovering what turns them on, how their bodies respond to pleasure, how to be a considerate and skilled lover.

Ask yourself how did you find out about sex? Has your sex education finished and did it ever really begin?

Sam explained that most people rely on books, television, past lovers and pornography to get clued up on sex. However, these sources aren't always expansive or detailed enough to truly inform and change people’s sexual knowledge. And, in the case of pornography, which is mainly produced by and aimed at men, can actually be a real hindrance to genuine sexual enlightenment. Dr Laura Berman, New York Times best-selling author and renowned sex and relationship expert says, “When people get their sexual information from urban legends, or worse, from pornography, they receive a skewed, false idea of what sexuality really is and what safer sex looks like. It’s particularly harmful to young women because pornography often portrays women as objects. They exist only to serve the sexual needs of men, and their safety, well-being, and sexual desires aren’t considered. Worse, their bodies are generally surgically enhanced, waxed, bleached, etc. to the point that they don’t even remotely look like real women. It sets up a false idea of how women should look and how they should be treated.” So, you can see how, if pornography is the only sexual reference men or women have, the expectations and abilities as a lover can be very low and unfulfilling. With this in mind, you can see why Sam Roddick decided there was a real need for grown-up sex-ed classes and so Lessons In The Art Of Loving salons were born.

The unique Coco de Mer salons attract many of the most experienced salon teachers from around the world all eager to pass on their sexual knowledge be it bondage and spanking to the meditative calm of tantric sex and inspire your own journey in sexual self discovery.

"The essence of Coco de Mer lies within our salons" says Julie Leonard, Coco de Mer's salons organiser. 

"We provide a relaxed environment in which to learn more about sexual pleasure. We believe that wherever one is on their sexual journey; there are always new areas of sexuality to discover." You can attend the salons alone, bring a pal or take your partner and the coming autumn salons cover a wide range of topics so you can take small steps with a salon in sensual massage or discover your inner dominatrix with sex scenes and spanking with Mistress Absolute. Coco de Mer's own Sam Roddick's salon 'Coco de Mer's Sex Secrets & Tips' involves Sam taking you on a sexual journey and revealing many long held taboos that can inhibit the full realisation of your unique sexuality. Her salon explores the senses, looks at consensual restraint and bondage as well as what the perfect kit of toys every boudoir should have.

In essence, sex education helps to demystify sex and normalise sexual feelings and desires. It’s empowering to embrace your sex and sensuality instead of being ashamed of it or more likely as an adult taking it for granted. So don’t think that just because you’re a 20 or 30-something that your sex life as it is now, is all there is. If you’re willing to put in the after-school hours you’re sure to increase sexual pleasure in your life, and who wouldn’t want that?